A year ago

1 year ago today, I was invited to serve in the Peace Corps. 5 months ago today I arrived in Moldova. With such concrete anniversaries, it seems important to mark them. It's interesting to note the passage of time and think about what has changed. Peace Corps is definitely one of the most challenging things I've done, but it's a challenge I enjoy. I feel like I'm constantly growing and learning new things, and I love that. And I get to be creative and help make things happen, and I love that, too. There are things - and mostly people - I miss in the U.S., yet I've always loved learning about other cultures, and I really enjoy being immersed in a different culture. I'm not really sure what to say here. I don't want to write something forced just because it's an anniversary. But I will note that my life has drastically changed in the year since I was invited to join Peace Corps, and it has been really hard but definitely worth it. Similarly, in the 5 months since I arrived in Moldova, I have had to learn a new language, adapt to a new culture, learn to live with new people, eat different food than I am used to, try to build relationships with people in my communities, participate in events, create and host events, etc. I sometimes wonder if this place will ever really feel like home in the sense that I won't feel like an outsider. I'm guessing that I will always feel like an outsider to some extent, but I do feel like this town is much more familiar to me now, and that is nice. Reflecting back also makes me want to reflect forward, and I wonder how I will feel when I have been here for a year? Or two years? How will I feel when it's time to move away? As people, we can't help but look both backward and forward. I really appreciate that quote attributed to Socrates, "the unexamined life is not worth living." For me, at least, it's significant because I always want to learn from my experiences and let that shape the direction I go in the future. 

Today, as I was searching through my phone photos for the screen shot of my Peace Corps invitation letter that I took a year ago, I spent probably an hour scrolling through photos from the past 4 years. So many wonderful memories, and also some really terrible ones. Beautiful sights, good friends, delicious food, as well as the loss of a dear mentor, the loss of my job and home, career disappointment, and nostalgia for a hometown that no longer exists as I remember it. Scrolling through more recent photos reminded me of how much has changed, both in my personal life and in the area I called home for so long. Sometimes when I think about all the changes it just makes me miss what is gone. Then again, I have had so many wonderful experiences and made some amazing friends who I would not know if it weren’t for all of the changes. How do I find balance in looking forward and looking back? I'm curious how my experience in Moldova will shape who I become in the future. Only time will tell. For now, though, I'm just trying to appreciate each day as it comes.