Whelp. I have apparently jumped into the leagues of people who have YouTube channels. I never thought I would be one of those people who was all techy and stuff. But honestly, the platforms have become even easier to use lately, and I like that Blogger and YouTube are linked so I can attach videos to my blog easily (that sure wasn't possible when I started using Blogger back in 2005!!). And the video quality on YouTube is much better than when I upload videos to Facebook. So, look forward to more video content on the blog, and if you just want to check out a collection of snippets from my time in Moldova, poftim!
MossbackinMoldova YouTube Channel
Monday, March 19, 2018
Thursday, March 15, 2018
Pause. Breathe.
It has been quite a week. A normal, typical, unusual, at times frustrating, at times beautiful week. Last weekend I felt myself coming down with a cold. I could tell from the onset that it would be brutal but short. I felt miserable, but also felt like it would pass quickly. And here I sit a week later feeling 80% better. Still a lingering cough, but that seems to be par for the course for me lately. In any case, I am so glad it didn't last long. Add to not feeling well trying to learn and speak another language, planning for English clubs that I am desperately trying to make interesting and possibly even meet some of my program metrics, rainy weather so people don't want to come to activities, and the tediousness that is the constant companion of trying to get projects going. Sometimes it feels like trying to push a boulder uphill.
I made myself a promise years ago after my mom died: no regrets. I will never look back and wish I had done something differently, and I will not compare my life to anyone else's. Usually I do a pretty good job of sticking to that. But on the days that I'm rundown and worn out and not seeing the progress I'd like to see in my work, I sometimes see my friends' posts on facebook and wonder if I've made the right decisions. What if I'd gotten a for-profit job so I could have afforded to stay in Seattle? What if I had studied a subject or looked for work in a more lucrative field? Have I made a terrible mistake in pursuing a life of service? Will I be able to afford medical care when I'm old or ever get my student loans paid off? Why am I not married with children, a homeowner, etc.? What is wrong with me? I definitely have these moments occasionally. BUT. I am who I am because of all of the decisions I have made, and I - being the overanalyzer that I am - do not make decisions lightly. Yes, I have not pursued work in a lucrative field, and yes that means I have to deal with the consequences of that choice. But, I made decisions that were true to myself, and that is really all we can do in this life.
Instead of wondering what my life would be like if I had a fancy job and owned a nice home and got to stay in my hometown and go see Hamilton at the Paramount like all my friends in Seattle are doing right now, I have to remind myself that that was not the life I wanted. That is not who I am. The other day as I was walking through mud on my way to a local high school to talk to girls about a program they could participate in to learn how to code a phone app, I had a moment where I realized THAT is exactly what I wanted to be doing at that moment. A year prior, sitting in a cubicle I would have LOVED to be walking that muddy road. And there I was! Living in an unfamiliar place, learning a new culture and language, slowly building community, and getting to encourage young people to pursue their dreams. This is my dream. This is what I dreamed of for so long that sometimes I can't believe I finally get to do the very thing I hoped for. It's slow, difficult work, and often you don't see the impact it has. But I've worked in community development long enough to know that and be ok with it. I just sometimes need to pause for a moment and breathe, and remind myself why I do this. It's what I was made for.
Yesterday, I walked to the piața to buy oranges and some candy from the same ladies I usually buy from. They remember me, and try to speak to me in Romanian even though they speak Russian. On my way back to the library, I saw the chief of the cultural section of the raion council, who had ridden to Cahul with me after our Peace Corps Swearing-In in August. She gave me a hug, and asked how I was doing. Am I happy here? Do I have friends here? Do I like Moldova? Yes. Yes. Yes. And then at the library, I got to meet with an incredible group of young women who I believe are already making an impact in their country. Have all the decisions I have made that led me here been worth it? Yes. Resoundingly yes. I may not get to see Hamilton anytime soon, or ever be able to return to my home city, but this is the life my decisions have chosen, and I would not have it any other way.
I made myself a promise years ago after my mom died: no regrets. I will never look back and wish I had done something differently, and I will not compare my life to anyone else's. Usually I do a pretty good job of sticking to that. But on the days that I'm rundown and worn out and not seeing the progress I'd like to see in my work, I sometimes see my friends' posts on facebook and wonder if I've made the right decisions. What if I'd gotten a for-profit job so I could have afforded to stay in Seattle? What if I had studied a subject or looked for work in a more lucrative field? Have I made a terrible mistake in pursuing a life of service? Will I be able to afford medical care when I'm old or ever get my student loans paid off? Why am I not married with children, a homeowner, etc.? What is wrong with me? I definitely have these moments occasionally. BUT. I am who I am because of all of the decisions I have made, and I - being the overanalyzer that I am - do not make decisions lightly. Yes, I have not pursued work in a lucrative field, and yes that means I have to deal with the consequences of that choice. But, I made decisions that were true to myself, and that is really all we can do in this life.
Instead of wondering what my life would be like if I had a fancy job and owned a nice home and got to stay in my hometown and go see Hamilton at the Paramount like all my friends in Seattle are doing right now, I have to remind myself that that was not the life I wanted. That is not who I am. The other day as I was walking through mud on my way to a local high school to talk to girls about a program they could participate in to learn how to code a phone app, I had a moment where I realized THAT is exactly what I wanted to be doing at that moment. A year prior, sitting in a cubicle I would have LOVED to be walking that muddy road. And there I was! Living in an unfamiliar place, learning a new culture and language, slowly building community, and getting to encourage young people to pursue their dreams. This is my dream. This is what I dreamed of for so long that sometimes I can't believe I finally get to do the very thing I hoped for. It's slow, difficult work, and often you don't see the impact it has. But I've worked in community development long enough to know that and be ok with it. I just sometimes need to pause for a moment and breathe, and remind myself why I do this. It's what I was made for.
Yesterday, I walked to the piața to buy oranges and some candy from the same ladies I usually buy from. They remember me, and try to speak to me in Romanian even though they speak Russian. On my way back to the library, I saw the chief of the cultural section of the raion council, who had ridden to Cahul with me after our Peace Corps Swearing-In in August. She gave me a hug, and asked how I was doing. Am I happy here? Do I have friends here? Do I like Moldova? Yes. Yes. Yes. And then at the library, I got to meet with an incredible group of young women who I believe are already making an impact in their country. Have all the decisions I have made that led me here been worth it? Yes. Resoundingly yes. I may not get to see Hamilton anytime soon, or ever be able to return to my home city, but this is the life my decisions have chosen, and I would not have it any other way.
Thursday, March 8, 2018
Fericite ziua femeilor!
March 2007. I was by myself in Bucharest and headed out to get dinner. I found a nice restaurant and was seated, looking at the menu when suddenly a server brought me a glass of champagne and a bouquet of daffodils. huh? I was very confused because I didn't know anyone in town, and also didn't order them myself. And I certainly didn't want to pay for something I hadn't ordered. I don't even particularly like champagne, and didn't want to carry daffodils back to the hotel room I'd soon be leaving. What was going on?? I learned that day that there is something called International Women's Day that is celebrated in many countries throughout the world, and it is a pretty popular day to celebrate in Eastern European countries.
March 2018. I now live in Moldova, and ziua femeilor is a big deal! The flower vendors this week were stocked with extra flowers, especially single stems of tulips and roses in cellophane. My Romanian language tutor also told me that flowers cost about double the usual price right now. For a few days, I looked at all the beautiful displays and tried to find out the various prices. Last night, I bought a nice plant with red blooms for my host mom, which I was happy to give her this morning. She also gave me a bunch of beautiful white tulips with red stripes in a glass jar. We exchanged our flowers along with a kiss on each cheek. Here in Moldova, Women's Day is also celebrated as Mother's Day, because Moldova doesn't have the kind of Mother's Day that we celebrate in the U.S.
Although Women's Day wasn't a holiday I grew up celebrating and still feels like a foreign holiday to me, I do like the idea of it. So, happy Women's Day to all the amazing women I have been fortunate to know, and let's celebrate the incredible contribution women make to our world every day!
March 2018. I now live in Moldova, and ziua femeilor is a big deal! The flower vendors this week were stocked with extra flowers, especially single stems of tulips and roses in cellophane. My Romanian language tutor also told me that flowers cost about double the usual price right now. For a few days, I looked at all the beautiful displays and tried to find out the various prices. Last night, I bought a nice plant with red blooms for my host mom, which I was happy to give her this morning. She also gave me a bunch of beautiful white tulips with red stripes in a glass jar. We exchanged our flowers along with a kiss on each cheek. Here in Moldova, Women's Day is also celebrated as Mother's Day, because Moldova doesn't have the kind of Mother's Day that we celebrate in the U.S.
Although Women's Day wasn't a holiday I grew up celebrating and still feels like a foreign holiday to me, I do like the idea of it. So, happy Women's Day to all the amazing women I have been fortunate to know, and let's celebrate the incredible contribution women make to our world every day!
Flowers from my host mom
Flowers I gave to my host mom
Flowers in the market in town
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
9 months in Moldova!
I have officially lived in Moldova for 9 months! It's another milestone, and makes me think about what my experience in Moldova has been like so far. In the past month, I have finally started language tutoring again, and I finally feel like I am overcoming the language barrier. It's still a challenge, but not as much, and it's not nearly as stressful as it was for the previous 8 months. I'm really enjoying learning more vocabulary and grammar, instead of being overwhelmed by it. I'm thankful to all of the wonderful language teachers I have had in Moldova. They are the reason I am able to feel at ease here!
In the last few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about the new group of trainees that will arrive here in about 3 months, and how I felt in the months prior to arriving here. So much has happened since then. I will say that I am very thankful not to have to start over from scratch learning a new language all summer this year! However, I won't say that I wouldn't do it again at some point. Just not yet. :) Actually, I'm really hoping that once I feel like my Romanian skills are more solid, I can have some tutoring in Russian. Most people in Moldova speak Romanian and Russian, and there is a sizable population of people in Cahul who only speak Russian. When I go to events here like the Women's Day dance concert last night at the Palatul de Cultură, or even just go to the piața (outdoor market) or check out at the grocery store, I can't communicate well with the Russian speakers. It's not a huge problem, but it would definitely be nice to at least know a little bit. Fortunately, some Russian words are very similar to Croatian/Serbian words, so I can understand a word here and there occasionally (for example, I understood the Russian word for 19 when a vendor at the piața told me the price for the mandarins I wanted to buy), but the words are still different and pronounced differently, so I certainly can't speak Russian at this point.
Now that my language skills have improved, I'm able to communicate better with my host family and my colleagues at the library. This has been great. I still can't express myself in Romanian like I can in English, but it has been wonderful to be able to understand more of what they say to me, and to be able to say more to them than just rudimentary statements. I'm looking forward to getting to know and understand them better in the coming months!
This winter has felt slow in some ways, including the pace of getting projects going. Some days it feels like I'm rushing, and other days it feels like there is no progress at all. That's the hazard out working on projects with a team. But I don't mind. I love working on team projects, and I know that the reality of doing that is that you have to deal with everyone's different schedules. However, I do think we have been making progress. This week my Technovation team had its first meeting! I'm excited to have a fantastic group of young women on my team. They are intelligent and determined, and I believe they will learn a lot and create something great! Additionally, my counterparts and I have nearly completed the grant application for the Documentary Club that we plan to start this spring. We have been trying to coordinate schedules to meet and finalize things like the budget and dates, and I'm hoping we can do that this week so we can submit the application. Then we need to work on publicity and recruiting participants. Hoping that youth here will be interested in participating!
Kids' English has been running smoothly, thanks in large part to my sitemate, Okxy. She is wonderful with the kids and can translate for me when I don't understand what the kids are saying. Thursday afternoons are pretty fun! Youth English is also going well, even though we only have a few people coming each week. This spring, we are adding leadership and service components to the mix, and will have weekly discussion topics including leadership, volunteering, self-confidence, health, the environment, etc. And hopefully by the end of spring, the group will plan and carry out a small service project in our town. I love working with youth, and the students who come to the youth club are wonderful. I hope these topics will encourage and inspire them to see that they have the ability to make a difference in their world. Adult English has somewhat fizzled. I feel bad about that because I know that adults in Cahul want to learn/practice English. But it was a lot of work for me on top of everything else, and just teaching English classes doesn't actually fit the requirements of Peace Corps' Community and Organizational Development program. It was really challenging to host weekly drop-in sessions, and try to plan for any number of people with varied levels of English experience. I know that some people were frustrated that it was too easy, and some were overwhelmed because it was too difficult, and I would never know whether we would have 2 or 20 people. I personally like to do the best I can for people, and what we were doing with the drop-in sessions just wasn't working well for anyone, so I wasn't too sad that it ended in that format. However, I would really like to offer something that would be much more beneficial for people, so I've asked my other sitemate, Valerie, who is in Peace Corps' English teaching program, if she'd like to collaborate on a summer adult English intensive course with me. She was excited about the idea, so I'm hoping we can come up with a great 1-2 week curriculum so people can really get a solid chance to practice and improve their English! And then maybe we can do something similar quarterly or something.
In the last few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about the new group of trainees that will arrive here in about 3 months, and how I felt in the months prior to arriving here. So much has happened since then. I will say that I am very thankful not to have to start over from scratch learning a new language all summer this year! However, I won't say that I wouldn't do it again at some point. Just not yet. :) Actually, I'm really hoping that once I feel like my Romanian skills are more solid, I can have some tutoring in Russian. Most people in Moldova speak Romanian and Russian, and there is a sizable population of people in Cahul who only speak Russian. When I go to events here like the Women's Day dance concert last night at the Palatul de Cultură, or even just go to the piața (outdoor market) or check out at the grocery store, I can't communicate well with the Russian speakers. It's not a huge problem, but it would definitely be nice to at least know a little bit. Fortunately, some Russian words are very similar to Croatian/Serbian words, so I can understand a word here and there occasionally (for example, I understood the Russian word for 19 when a vendor at the piața told me the price for the mandarins I wanted to buy), but the words are still different and pronounced differently, so I certainly can't speak Russian at this point.
Now that my language skills have improved, I'm able to communicate better with my host family and my colleagues at the library. This has been great. I still can't express myself in Romanian like I can in English, but it has been wonderful to be able to understand more of what they say to me, and to be able to say more to them than just rudimentary statements. I'm looking forward to getting to know and understand them better in the coming months!
This winter has felt slow in some ways, including the pace of getting projects going. Some days it feels like I'm rushing, and other days it feels like there is no progress at all. That's the hazard out working on projects with a team. But I don't mind. I love working on team projects, and I know that the reality of doing that is that you have to deal with everyone's different schedules. However, I do think we have been making progress. This week my Technovation team had its first meeting! I'm excited to have a fantastic group of young women on my team. They are intelligent and determined, and I believe they will learn a lot and create something great! Additionally, my counterparts and I have nearly completed the grant application for the Documentary Club that we plan to start this spring. We have been trying to coordinate schedules to meet and finalize things like the budget and dates, and I'm hoping we can do that this week so we can submit the application. Then we need to work on publicity and recruiting participants. Hoping that youth here will be interested in participating!
Kids' English has been running smoothly, thanks in large part to my sitemate, Okxy. She is wonderful with the kids and can translate for me when I don't understand what the kids are saying. Thursday afternoons are pretty fun! Youth English is also going well, even though we only have a few people coming each week. This spring, we are adding leadership and service components to the mix, and will have weekly discussion topics including leadership, volunteering, self-confidence, health, the environment, etc. And hopefully by the end of spring, the group will plan and carry out a small service project in our town. I love working with youth, and the students who come to the youth club are wonderful. I hope these topics will encourage and inspire them to see that they have the ability to make a difference in their world. Adult English has somewhat fizzled. I feel bad about that because I know that adults in Cahul want to learn/practice English. But it was a lot of work for me on top of everything else, and just teaching English classes doesn't actually fit the requirements of Peace Corps' Community and Organizational Development program. It was really challenging to host weekly drop-in sessions, and try to plan for any number of people with varied levels of English experience. I know that some people were frustrated that it was too easy, and some were overwhelmed because it was too difficult, and I would never know whether we would have 2 or 20 people. I personally like to do the best I can for people, and what we were doing with the drop-in sessions just wasn't working well for anyone, so I wasn't too sad that it ended in that format. However, I would really like to offer something that would be much more beneficial for people, so I've asked my other sitemate, Valerie, who is in Peace Corps' English teaching program, if she'd like to collaborate on a summer adult English intensive course with me. She was excited about the idea, so I'm hoping we can come up with a great 1-2 week curriculum so people can really get a solid chance to practice and improve their English! And then maybe we can do something similar quarterly or something.
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